Wednesday, June 21
Yesterday, I awoke early and pain free – no severe upper back pain, no stomach issues (nausea, blotting, heartburn), no muscle cramps, even a lessening of that ubiquitous fatigue. My world felt pleasantly different!
By 8:30 pm. yesterday evening, Rich, Laurie and I had returned from an extremely intense, prolonged day at OHSU. Based upon the 8 am. blood draw data; Dr. Beer told us that the current chemotherapy regime was failing. He informed us of another triple digit rise in PSA and the doubling of 3 key liver enzymes. Emergency Bone and CT scans were ordered to confirm this and help Dr. Beer pivot so as to recommend yet another treatment. Bone scans showed new tumor progression within the left iliac bone and pubic body. CT scans showed two enlarged nodules in the lungs, three enhancing bladder masses and most devastating, “marked interval progression in innumerable masses throughout the liver.” I read this as 4 enlarged (up to 5 x 4 cm) rapidly growing tumor masses in various parts of the liver. Finally, some soft tissue metastatic disease was identified around the L2 vertebrae.
Perhaps the most telling part of the morning was seeing the disappointment on Dr. Beer’s face as he related the news, the breaking in his voice as he told us that there is only one more recommended chemotherapy regime (which we started yesterday) and the sadness in his eyes when he recommended that we investigate clinical trials at other cancer research institutes.
I woke up early this morning to digest my rapidly changing situation. I reluctantly canceled my City of Rocks trip with my climbing friends. I feel like I need the time to reach out and schedule appointments with USCF, Dana Farber and Providence. I also am worried about the unknown side effects of this new, more potent chemotherapy drug. Finally, I think it of ultimate importance that Laurie and I spend these trying times together in support of each other!
I continue to marvel at the efficiency and compassion of all the folks at OHSU. I also continue to be eternally grateful for the outpouring of support and prayers from all my friends. I will maintain a thread of hope no matter how dark it may sometime seem.
* My dissonance arises from how I felt yesterday morning as compared to the unfolding news of the day.
“I will maintain a thread of hope no matter how dark it may sometime seem.”
Please allow me to change your verbiage to… WE ALL will create a stronger rope of Healing Light and Love no matter what news you receive.
Regroup Mikie and Laurie and then CLIMB ON !
With much love and hugs,
Annamarie
I just love you…. and Laurie…. and that is all. Tom and I would love to sit and share with you, laugh and drink with you (despite our over ten years of sobriety,) for YOU, we would enjoy a glass of wine, or just be with you in spirit, which we continue to be on your newest journey.
The space between this awful news and how you felt this morning, is the immense hope in my heart that somewhere out there lies an answer.
❤️❤️
Mikey! My thoughts and love are with you as always. Stay strong.
Mike and Laurie,
Sending lots and lots of love to both of you.
Deborah
We are with you and boldly praying for a miracle. 61 years ago was a very good day- we’ll be toasting you!
A day doesn’t go by that I’m not thinking of you both.
You are both such amazing people in all that you have been for each other and all of us. And now all that you are doing and ‘being’ through this latest journey.
You have been doing a fantastic job climbing this mountain, but dammit, I hate when they keep making it higher. I guess the plus side is, the bigger the mountain, the better the view, the clearer the air, and yet another angle to contemplate from. There always has to be a plus side, right Mike?
ALSO: I heard it’s your Birthday today! I trust you are finding some fun and meaningful way to celebrate it.
I love you both,
Nancy
Fuck Cancer! What else can one say? I am leaving in the morning with the crew to climb at Tahoe. Your wisdom and kind encouragement will be with me on each route. I did a 5.10c at Planet Granite last week…all but the last move. Quiet feet, body to the wall and that sense of grace that I see when you climb. You Rock in my heart!!
I wrap my arms around you both. Holding as tight as I can. Never, ever wanting to let go. I want to take away your sadness, pain and anguish and fill you with strength, hope and gift you recovery. Unfortunately, the ball is not in my court however, I walk along side of you in this journey. Let’s all believe that Dana Farber has something that will outsmart those damn cancer cells and give some positive results; for you are the one person in this world that deserves it most! Hugs x infinity!
Mike & Laurie,
Our thoughts and prayers are with both of you at this most difficult time.
Mike and Laurie my heart feels shattered at this news and yet you both continue to ride the rapids of this journey with infinite heart and courage. You each are an inspiration to me and I continue to send my thoughts and wishes of love and wellness daily. I like to think my love and thoughts are a thread in the vast netting of support so many people are pouring on you guys always holding you no matter what. I am giving you both a big hug everyday.