Saturday, May 27
I think I have been here before – summertime chemotherapy!
It has now been nineteen days since my first chemotherapy infusion of this summer. In two days I will start the pre-chemotherapy drug regime (steroids and anti-nausea medicine) and then the next day I’ll receive infusion number two. In some respects this brings back memories of last summer, but in other respects it just is not quite the same. It is hard to put my finger on it, but this time around it seems more real, serious, filled with a lingering doubt. I thought I would be an old pro at this, but that does not seem to be the case.
One big difference is last summer I vividly recall waking up most mornings to a cool summer breeze, birds chirping and an energetic anticipation of an awesome day. My eyes would simply pop open and I would be psyched to experience the unfolding of my new day. So far, that feeling seems to be keenly lacking. A second huge difference is my inability to get my stomach completely correct. I can and do eat, but often it is touch and go and hardly ever do I feel 100% even after consuming the most desirable meal. A final difference, this one being very positive, is the absence of that debilitating anxiety resulting from the withdrawal from the steroid medication – remember the stories about crying in the market or losing it completely with the inability to light the BBQ? So far nothing of the sort!
One similarity is the extreme fatigue. Recall the “biking uphill, against the wind, with brakes dragging”, or “walking about with the huge truck tire chained to your waist”? It’s back!
All this said, there continues to be no better feeling than sharing the energy, enthusiasm and love of life of our visiting youth. First Zach (age 10) and Jacob (age 8) and then Corey (age 21) and her two dynamite friends come to stay and share with us. They brought me untold joy and fun despite the trials of summertime chemotherapy. On that note, a gigantic thank you to Rich, Steve, Katie, Rhonda, Orion and Tommy for helping absorb some youthful energy and allowing both Laurie and I much coveted down time.
Presently, we are at the beach house in Manzanita with our fabulous friends, Manfred and Susan. We are blessed with warm sunshine, wind blown negative ions, crashing wave sounds, delicious food and lots of laughter. Life is good – one day at a time!
What wonderful spirit you have —-These blogs should be turned into a book. Thanks for sharing . Love Norene and Lloyd
As I read your blog this morning, my thoughts drifted to playing a round of golf with June. Last week was a humbling experience on the course, but a necessary one for me. When I struggled, June would say try to stay focused, keep you head down and eye on the ball. On the way home she encouragingly told me we all have those kinds of golf days, and then signed us up for another round the following week. The last several weeks my thoughts have drifted your way….maybe it’s because you gifted me the golf clubs, but whatever the reason, I always pay attention to those thoughts. I hope the new meds coming your way give a little more pleasure to eating and a bigger spring in your step. And, by the way, even though I have those humbling moments on the golf course, I wouldn’t trade my clubs in for anything. I’m loving the ups and downs of the game and my thoughts of you.
It sounds like Round Two is pretty darn harsh! Glad you can still enjoy time with your young friends, who always provide such vitality and wisdom beyond their years. Hope you are enjoying time at the beach with your close friends. Nothing like that good sea breeze to make a guy feel at least a bit better. Best of Luck Always! Bill