Month: April 2017

Monday, April 24

Let’s return to last Wednesday when Laurie and I were at OHSU to consult with doctor and trial coordinator, as well as receive the second infusion of Pembrolizumab. As we listened, it was made perfectly clear that the initial results with this treatment may not be impressive. The drug is different then chemotherapy drugs, in that it is not designed to specifically and immediately kill rapidly dividing cells, instead it is designed to assist my own immune system in battling the cancer cells. They said this might take time.

For the past year, we have been programmed to monitor my PSA. We know there are other indicators of tumor activity due to prostate cancer but PSA is very reliable. So, you all might not be surprised at our thundering dismay and utter shock and sadness when we logged onto the portal that afternoon and learned of the newest PSA reading – a whooping 70! Yes 70!

Are you kidding me? Another doubling after only 3 weeks! Isn’t this where we were last year at this time……. but now we are on the 4^th therapy. I know we were told not to expect immediate stellar results, which Chris confirmed with Laurie after checking the portal that afternoon, but 70 and a very nasty trajectory at that! I don’t like this one bit!

From last week, there you have The rest of the story!

 

 

Friday, April 21

Laurie and I returned from OHSU on Wednesday afternoon both physically and emotionally exhausted! That said, all went as expected – blood tests, doctor exam and infusion all progressed smoothly.  The doctor, as well as the trial coordinator assured us that the intense fatigue, which I’ve been feeling, is normal. They suggested I continue moderate exercise but listen to the body and get sufficient rest. This theme of listening to the body and getting rest has been echoed by many of you, including, Julia, Annamarie, Chris, Laurie, Zac, Allean………

The next morning I went to an early morning appointment with Zac, my eastern healer. He worked on supporting the immune system, we spoke of appropriate rest and off I went on the 2-day drive to Red Rock.

Be assured, I am fully convinced of the importance of rest and am committed to listening to my body at every turn! In matter or fact I have a plan for the next 18 days. I do not plan on climbing every day, nor do I intend to attempt more than one multi pitch climb per day! Those days I do climb, I’ll hike to the climb, spend 30 minutes or so at the base, resting or napping, and then send the climb. My send will be slow and steady – never rushed. I plan on enjoying each and every move on each and every climb! So is my commitment to myself (and Laurie). Nonetheless, she did insist, as I drove away yesterday, that she would sit on my right shoulder overseeing the entire adventure, as a supportive teammate.

Two gorgeous views on today’s drive

I am very excited and a little nervous!

Tuesday, April 18

Tomorrow morning we are scheduled for yet another pilgrimage to the clinic at OHSU. The routine will be blood tests, doctor check-up and the second of four infusions of this immunotherapy trial. We should get an initial feel as to how successful the first infusion has been in assisting my immune system to keep those cancer cells at bay.

We had committed to view this as our job, so tomorrow will be merely another day at the office, day at the job site or meeting with the boss. A bonus for us is the fact that we get to work with our wonderful colleagues at OHSU – happy, helpful, compassionate and efficient.

Now the reality coming from within me: I wish I felt more optimistic about tomorrow. Last summer each pilgrimage to OHSU for our chemotherapy treatments yielded stunningly successful results. Since then both subsequent treatment regimes have been disappointing. I wish I could get excited about anticipating a positive result tomorrow.

Conversely, the day after tomorrow, I plan to depart Eugene for the 2-day drive to Red Rocks Canyon National Conservation Area. Over the course of 18 days my climbing buds, Dave, Alan, Bob and Chris will rendezvous with me to hike deep into the canyons seeking out long, multipitch climbs on perfect sandstone cliffs – all day affairs! Talk about excited and full of anticipation – Indeed!

Admittedly, my only concern is: Will the body be able to able to hold up to the fatiguing effects of this intense drug assault?  As my Guatemalan friends would say: SABER (who knows)? In the meantime: Capre Diem!

Saturday, April 15

Recently, it seems that I have been on a subconscious quest for normalcy in my life. Despite the fact that a ‘normal life’ might be extremely hard to define – I seek it nonetheless. Perhaps a normal life is when one does not feel forced to schedule an untold number of medical appointments over 100 miles away from home. Maybe it is not constantly thinking of whether your body is capable of this or that physical exertion or what the next PSA reading will be or what the next scan will show. Maybe it is a freedom from concern as to whether cancer cells really feast on sugar or alcohol or are nourished by this or that food. I suspect most people with normal lives do not think regularly about liver enzyme or TSH-Thyroid Stimulating Hormone levels, white or red blood cell counts, yes or no on PD-1, this vitamin, that supplement, enough sleep last night, more meditation, a nap….………..

Now mind you, I don’t mean to make this out to be an obsession, but the reality for me (and Laurie) is that since I had been diagnosed these issues are usually not too far from the surface in our lives. Either this is real OR  we simply have too much time on our hands. Nonetheless, I seek normalcy.

That said, I returned from a fabulous get-away in Pendleton with brothers, nephew and uncle on Monday past. As you, the reader, must have surmised, the value of quality family time in my life simply cannot be overstated. This get-away was marvelous. We had wonderful conversation, dinners, exercise, card games and hang out time!

Before leaving for Pendleton, I had started a large yard project that Laurie and I had planned. It was a normal thing – a springtime revamping and replanting. Upon returning, we resumed this project. I suspended all climbing training and we worked four days straight together. We dug up roots, moved soil, sculpted a berm, hauled in leaves, moved some existing plants and ordered new plants. It was a gigantic amount of fun to create together. At each day’s end we cooked dinner together (well mainly Laurie cooked, as I was quite tired) and ended cozily together in front of a movie. Last night, was the best, as we shared one of our favorite bottle of Russian River Pinot Noir over a scrumptious Italian dinner. We then splurged and went out for a decadent, rich chocolate, raspberry tort from our local patisserie accompanied by my favorite chocolate ice cream from our time-honored heladería.

 

As I reread this post, I realize that perhaps this is not so normal –—- yet quite delicious. Still, I do not feel compelled to change the title, as life is grand so long as I can stay away from over analyzing the severity of my condition.

Thank you all for listening………….

Monday, April 11

The second two weeks of April are filled with dubious anniversaries for Laurie and me. On April 11, 2016, one year ago to the day, I received a call informing me of the sobering results from the prostate biopsy of a week ago – high volume, aggressive cancer, Gleason Scale 9. Also this week, one year ago, there was my desperate exchange of emails with Manfred and Susan calling for help  (attached), the news that my cancer was metastatic and my acceptance into the Knight Cancer Institute for treatment. Next week’s anniversaries include my first chemotherapy treatment, Orion’s 21^st birthday BBQ and settling in at home to a new life – a life with cancer.

This all seems like a lifetime ago! Occasionally it still seems a little surreal, but by and large we’ve accepted this bewildering twist of fate. We do wish it were different, however we know it is here to stay. We are prepared to continue this journey through the rest of our lives together and go wherever it may lead us.

Over the last year, Laurie and I have experienced a tremendous amount of varying, intense emotions – not the least of which has been an overwhelming outpouring of love from all of you. We cannot overstate how valuable this has been for us. Your love has most certainly enhanced our lives in many more ways than you can ever imagine!

We have also learned so much over the last year. Perhaps the most valuable lesson has been to continue to live our lives as normal as possible. We strive to seize each day and live it with gusto, but not as if it were our last day. We try to take advantage of each and every opportunity for fun and laughter, but not over commit ourselves thus adding stress to our days. Most important of all we never, ever, ever, want to take each other for granted!  This has been a foundational commitment to each other ever since we started our relationship 17 years ago and has only gotten stronger since my diagnosis of a year ago.

One year later, Laurie and I are grateful for so many things, not the least of which is that I am still standing, walking, running, skiing, climbing, cycling, playing, laughing and smiling.

We continue to work and hope for the best.

Happy Days………..

Monday, April 3

How bad can it be when my favorite 6 year old, Hayden, comes running across the street  early in the morning with a huge smile and excitedly exclaims: “……and I knew it was you, Mike. You put up the signs and balloons on my fence. I remember from last year when I was five……….”

 

The joy and innocence of youth continues to be a powerful, rewarding, happy force in my life. I think back 45 years when I first experienced this. I then count forward through the years and remember all the solid relationships I have built with innumerable kids. The spontaneous, genuine, carefree, cheerful experiences I have shared with them all rings strong for me. I say, how bad can it be, to have Hayden join this team?

Thursday past was my first Pembrolizumab infusion. This is the clinical immunotherapy trial for which Dr. Beer has such high hopes. I see it as the fourth phase of western medicine treatment, the last two of which have not been very successful. Nonetheless, I am thankful to have qualified for the trial and hope to see positive results. The actual infusion went well and after four full days, there do not seem to be any severe side effects. So again, I say: how bad can it be………?

Finally, I ask, how bad can it be when college friends of 40 years ago come to share time, stories and create new memories with me.  Having my brother Rich and two nephews amongst us made the weekend even better. Oh Yea!