Feeling the Fatigue:

The Next Week (Saturday(4/23) – Sunday(5/1))

Two of the most interesting pearls of wisdom that I received from my friends this week were:

“Mike, you may have cancer, but more importantly, does cancer have you?”
“ Where the mind goes, the energy flows”

I found myself reflecting on both of these, as I began to feel an overall physical fatigue – perhaps due to the 1st chemotherapy infusion of a few days ago.

It has been less than two weeks since my diagnosis, although it feels like years.  I believe, I now have an intellectual grasp of what is happening within my body.  Emotionally, however, it goes up and down, but in reality – it is what it is.

The long and short of it is that there are two things: 1.) Those pesky, invisible cancer cells are in a survival struggle with my body’s immune system. 2.) The drugs, hormone and chemotherapy, battling those cancer cells, have their own side effects.  So, over the last week, I have been carefully monitoring my body and trying to implement best possible healing practices (diet change, rest, sleep, exercise, acupuncture, a rare pill, etc.).  I have felt quite successful – except for a minor stomach issue (perhaps as simple as acid reflux) and the fatigue, I continue to feel extremely well!  The fatiguing effect can be compared to cycling uphill against the wind with dragging brakes, or that cross-fit guy dragging around the huge truck tire, or climbing that 5.10b with a 20 pound weight hanging off your waist.  Nonetheless, I have found a nice rhythm of doing physical activity (cardio or strength workouts, climbing, yard work, food shopping, cooking, etc.) and deliberately resting for an hour or so.  Then do something else and rest – then again and again and again.

This rhythm is working especially well, as evidenced by all the cool stuff I’ve been able to do this week.  I’ve climbed with Alan twice, completed three strong cardio days with Laurie and a quality weight workout at the SRC.  I felt well enough to be part of the pinochle date at Steve’s place, our fabulous Tuesday night sauna, two special dates – one with Claire, the other with Hannah, a visit to Lynn at Willamette Oaks, a large-laddered house project at Peter’s place, dinner cooked by Corinne, a stroll over to the Eugene marathon and an awesome dinner party at Rich and Kay’s place. I met with Carter, my eastern medicine healer, who created a three-pronged plan (radical diet change, nutraceuticals to detox and acupuncture) to supplement the OHSU treatments.  Finally, I spent considerable time implementing this blog site and staying in close touch with friends.  The ‘get-well’ phone call I received from the 7th grade classroom in Largo MD and my conversation with Maureen from my high school days were both very special events. Happy texts from my sister Annamarie, multiple snail-mail cards, videos of Tanya’s family and touching email notes and photos from so many friends simply made my week!

WOW – after reading it is a clear why I felt fatigued!

I will close this post with three metaphors that have been playing in my mind this week.  The first is a vision of the anti-hormone drug viciously depriving those prostate cancer cells of their sustenance, so they just shrivel up and die away!  Perhaps, a little morbid, but, heck, I did not invite those cancer cells to the party – so, you all, Go Home!  The second metaphor also centers on depriving those prostate cancer cells of sustenance. Some research suggests that those cancer cells love sugar; they just want to intensely gobble it up and use it as a reproducing energy source.  Well, Carter’s radical new diet calls for no added sugars whatsoever and no grain based carbohydrates.  Again, I visualize these uninvited cells being starved as they shrivel up and die away.  The final metaphor I centered on  was the ubiquitous Bolt to Bolt metaphor. For all you non-climbers, this is my way of moving step by step, slowing myself down, enjoying the moment, not getting overwhelmed, smelling the roses and being grateful of all the wonderful pieces of my life.

So then, until next time, may all your winds be gentle tailwinds and all your hills roll gently downwards.  So long for now and happy trails……….