Monday 5/9
It is now four weeks to the day upon receiving that frightful evening call from my Eugene Urologist. Today, Laurie and I set out to consult with my eastern medicine healer, Carter Blue, and receive his delicious acupuncture treatment. We then continue on to visit, walk and dine with Linda at her house and then arrive Susan’s place for a two-night stay. As usual, the evening biology conversation was quite informative, but most touching were Susan’s continued obvious concerns for my condition. How, I super appreciate her dedication and tenacity while on this journey!
Tuesday 5/10
We are scheduled for a Dr. Beer’s examination / consultation, blood tests, a hormone therapy injection, a chemotherapy infusion, nutritional consultation and a bone density test – wouldn’t lunch and an afternoon walk in the gorgeous Portland sun be an added blessing!
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I awake way to early (pre-chemotherapy steroid drug really seems to wreck ones sleep) and feel somewhat anxious. By 7:15, Laurie and I strike out on foot for the Metro. We meet Susan, the cyclist, at OHSU and are promptly ushered into the Beer appointment. He examines, we talk and he pronounces me ready for a day of treatment. Good News 1. I get permission to reduce dose of that bothersome pre-chemotherapy steroid drug. Good News 2.
We are happy and excited when we learn that Lena will be our drug nurse today. We have a window seat with a superb view of Mount Hood for the next 3 hours (after all Linda is on her way to the summit, as we settle in). Blood panel indicates white blood cell count up & liver function is in fine working order. Good News 3.
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An hour into drug therapy, Dr. Beer strolls by in his doctor’s outfit with a casual smile and remarks to us: “Have you seen the PSA levels yet?” Laurie and I freeze! He announces: 7! He continues to smile, I search my brain for recognition and Laurie starts to cry tears of unabashed joy!
How can this be, I wonder, in the context of the last four tests: PSA = 18, 36, 48, 70? A 90% decrease in just four weeks. Didn’t we just talk this morning about a single digit PSA reading in 7 to 9 months? Could this treatment really be working? Beyond Imaginable Good News.
We dance through the rest of the day in our euphoric state. Exiting the Healing Center, we serendipitously bump into Chris and share our grand news. We move on to visit and play bridge with Julia, converse and cook with Susan and dine with Eric. Our world is pure delight and excitement!
Emotionally exhausted we crash!
Wednesday 5/11
I awake to wonder, did yesterday really happen? I pinch myself and realize perhaps it really did go down exactly as I recall. Wow!
I hop out of bed and immediately get caught up in the excitement around Laurie and Susan. Susan off to SFO, us to Manzanita – busy morning preparations! Buzzing about, packing, grocery shopping, happy conversation, drive to PDX, crossing back through town and drive to the beach house.
We arrive to this wonderfully familiar site and absolutely gorgeous setting, but I can hardly get out of the car. My energy is fully SAPPED! I can barely recall in my whole life ever felling this exhausted. I drag the yoga mat to the grass, get on a few licks of SPF 30 and down I am for 2 hours in a most restless, exhausted state! Wow, I realize, these drugs pack quite a punch!
My well-being does not improve at all, as I drag myself into the house. I fail at being able to light the BBQ; I cannot even move the eating table onto the porch. I sit and suddenly I hear the kitchen circuit breaker click OFF! Somewhere in the background I miraculously hear Laurie say that dinner is done. As she serves I simply break down in tears. I feel the lowest I’ve ever felt on this new journey since that fateful call of four weeks ago. Totally Wasted!
The next few minutes feel like a year! My head spinning, not sure what is passing through it. The sun slowly sets, the waves continue to crash, I nibble at our meal of sockeye salmon and Laurie is just there! Still utterly exhausted, somehow spirits rise a fraction and we sit together and slowly eat. I vaguely recall luckily finding the two breaker boxes and stumbling upon the correct one. Lights and plugs now function. Sun fully sets, the hours pass, darkness envelops us and I rest. Ever so slowly I begin to feel better. I wonder again how powerful this journey has been and where will it take us next. I stumble into bed after midnight, exhausted and hope for a grand awakening tomorrow!